So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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