Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
