yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
