Me. At least after what I've been through.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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