I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
