Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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