Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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