i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is my gift to your gina
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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