I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
