yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
