Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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