is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
