I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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