yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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