i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
