I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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