Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
