Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
