He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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