Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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