Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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