If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
