Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
organizing the empties. That sober.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
