how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Randomize
