how can u be prego again
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
