when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
