I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
