I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
