I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am puke
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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