i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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