and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
