I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
