I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
