That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
