Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
