i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
