didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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