We won't sleep together?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
