I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
