okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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