Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
