Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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