I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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