I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
