Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
