By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
