I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
