so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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