I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
