yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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