You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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