My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
