just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
